Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Why So Serious?

I so love the rock singer Pink! She is so freaking cool! I identify with her so much - she seems to have that hard outer coating and a soft, gooey center just like I have. And lately, her song "Raise Your Glass" has been my theme song (I even changed my ring tone on my phone to this song!). Why? Because I've always been the weird one and very loud (ask my former co-workers)! And I've always been ok with that - I didn't even care if I fit into any cliques in high school - I was just friends with everyone.

I just love the line "Raise your glass if you are wrong, in all the right ways ... all my underdogs, we will never be anything but loud and nitty gritty, dirty, little freaks" and of course, the "WHY SO SERIOUS?" phrase. Most of my loudness comes from my laughing - I gotta laugh. I've always dealt with life with humor and silliness.

Anyway, an example of this silliness was the other day. I was trying to shovel the snow off the driveway, but with the 4" of ice underneath it, it was impossible. The sun was out, it wasn't too cold, so I decided to make a snow dog. I was out there all alone, but I'll tell you, it was the most fun I had for a while! I even found myself giggling to myself. I didn't get to take a picture until the next day, and it had melted a little, but here he is! Just a little silliness for you!


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Wednesday, February 02, 2011

How to Deal with a Bad Day

I got this little gem in my email this morning and had to repost it - it contains some real wisdom for how to think about those "bad days."

HOW TO DEAL WITH A BAD DAY
by Christine Kane 

Let's face it. No matter how much progress we make, we're still going to have "bad days."

You know the ones.

When the old critical voices are milling about drinking martinis in your head. You try to send them all away with your favorite powerful affirmation, but only a few of them even look up - and one of them turns away and snickers.

So, what do you do when no matter what you do, you're just icky?

Very few success-gurus or business coaches talk about the bad day. Rarer still is any discussion on the process of following your dreams or building a business and the persistence it takes to break through old patterns.

Sometimes it helps to hear someone be honest about this stuff. Not so that you can indulge in self-pity about how hard you have it. But so that when the bad day strikes, you have some leverage and you KNOW WHAT TO DO! (Or not to do!)

So, how do you get through a bad day?

Here's a few things that help me. Let them help you too...

WHAT TO REMIND YOURSELF:
1 - The icky voices do not tell the truth.
They're just your old voices coming up to feed. Do not feed them. This is what makes them stay.

2 - This is not who you are.
The voices like to tell you that this messed up person is who you really are and that the rest of the world doesn't have these same flaws.

Not true.

This is just a temporary set back. That's all.

3 - Lattes don't take the voices away. It just makes them go faster.
Bad Days are not a call to rush out to Starbucks, hoping that if you move faster, it will all go away. If there's any action that needs to be taken now, it's probably a nap.

4 - You can put off your productivity until tomorrow.
Consciously choosing to be unproductive is much more effective than spending the day wondering why you can't get anything done. It really is okay to put down your goals and to-dos for one day. You can return to them tomorrow. Today, make it your goal to consciously do nothing.

5 - Everything seems worse when you're tired or hungry.
If you are tired or hungry, that could be the primary cause of feeling bad. Eat something yummy. Take a nap. Go somewhere and sit quietly.

WHAT TO DO:
1 - Stop feeling bad about feeling bad.
If it helps, make today a container. Know that you're allowed to have this stuff and that nothing horrid is going to happen with this one day of getting thrown off.

2 - Make no decisions.
The late Richard Carlson, author and psychologist, gave this great advice: "Never make decisions when you're in a low mood." That's because low moods are a natural occurrence and that any low-mood decisions are typically not healthy. Put off all decisions when you're having a bad day.

3 - Don't read fashion magazines. Or the news.

4 - Take a 20 minute walk.
Bring a gentle affirmation along with you. On days like this you don't want to say, "I am master of the universe!!!" On days like this you want to say, "I am loved. I am precious."

5 - Don't try to FIX yourself today.
No need to rush to the Self-Help section at Borders. Maybe there are steps you can take toward being healthier in the big picture. But today, let yourself stop.

6 - Lower your standards.
If you eat a good healthy meal, be proud. If you do a little yoga, give yourself a high five. Tomorrow you can have your old high standards back and be productive and evolved and all that. Not today.

7 - Say NO to anything if it's motivated by the word "should."
This is a good rule to follow on good days too!

8 - Ask yourself what you feel like doing.
Sometimes the answer to this can be surprising. Maybe you'll want to begin a fiction audiobook and clean your closet! Maybe you'll just want a nap. Don't judge your response. Just do it. You might be surprised at how this one little bit of permission changes your state instantly!

9 - Don't do anything destructive.
Don't overdose on sugar or indulge in alcohol. Don't call anyone who drains you. It will not help.

WHAT TO BE:
Be very, very kind to yourself.

WHAT TO KNOW:
That the victory is not about not having bad days anymore. The victory is that you can get back up after having one.

Christine Kane is the Mentor to Women Who are Changing the World. She helps women uplevel their lives, their businesses and their success. Her weekly LiveCreative eZine goes out to over 12,000 subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can sign up for a F.R.E.E. subscription at http://christinekane.com.
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